57. THE HEALING PRACTICE OF YONI MASSAGE
YONI MASSAGE, WHICH HAS ITS ORIGINS IN TANTRA, HAS RECENTLY BEEN GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION IN THE SEXUAL WELLNESS SPACE.
What is the meaning of Yoni anyway? It’s Sanskrit term that means “sacred portal” and it represents all the female genital parts - the vulva, vagina, womb and feminine essence.
On this episode, Sara is joined by her sex-positive friend Will and Viv Kan (https://www.mindfulintimacy.co), a mindful intimacy coach. They discuss the benefits of yoni massage, what the experience is like and how to incorporate this practice in our intimate lives.
For some, a yoni massage can be used to release emotions or trauma stuck in the pelvic area. And for others, it can be the start of a sexual awakening.
Both Sara and Viv share their memorable experiences around Yoni massages, and how orgasm is not the end goal but an exploration of one’s body and sexual empowerment.
Viv also breaks down how to give yourself or someone else a Yoni massage — from setting the stage to exploring the different parts of female genitals. There are a bunch of practical tips in this episode.
Be inspired to embrace your sensuality and awaken pleasure with this liberating practice by tuning into this episode.
JUICY BITS ON THE SHOW
8:15 - 9:57 Viv’s personal journey to becoming a mindful intimacy coach
10:00 - 13:27 What is a yoni and lingam massage?
13:27 - 1 6:17 - How does yoni massage connect with mindfulness
16:17 - 19:15 - Benefits of a yoni massage for a receiver
19:25 - 24:09 - Differences between a couples session versus a solo session
24:09 - 27:10 - The therapeutic nature of yoni massages
27:10 - 28:55 - Benefits of a yoni massage for a giver
29:44 - 34:23 - Memorable experiences with yoni massages
34:28 - 44:44 - Practical tips on how to give a yoni massage
AUDIO GUIDE: WANT TO GET BETTER IN BED?
Download this FREE audio guide to get 3 critical strategies to help you creatively and confidently rock it between the sheets.
TIPS FOR PRACTICING A YONI MASSAGE
Create ambience. Clean your bedroom, light some candles, and add music. Ensure the environment helps you feel present and in touch with your senses.
Set an intention. Make your intention go beyond orgasm. It could be opening your heart, embracing sensuality, or connecting to your body.
Use a mirror. If performing a self-massage, a mirror will help you see the different parts of your vulva and what you're touching.
Get your tools ready. You can use lube or coconut oil. Or even a glass wand if exploring the cervix. Avoid vibrating toys, as the goal is not to rush.
Explore different body parts. Start with a breast massage and other sensual touching. Only explore the yoni when you are ready and warmed up.
Listen to your body. Feel for any tension, pain, or numbness. If you find some, hold that area and breathe into it to help release whatever is there.
Enjoy some aftercare. Give yourself time to enjoy the sensations and mindfully integrate the experience. If it's a couples session, leave room for cuddles and kisses.
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM THE EPISODE
"So, this practice originates from Tantra. And it can be done alone or with a partner. And it isn't really about sex or foreplay. It's about discovering one's body in a slow, mindful and methodical way that can be pleasurable but can also be very healing and spiritual."
"Often, we also think of sex just in the terminology of genitals, right? As you were saying, penis meets vagina equals sex. And as human beings, we're so much more than just genitals. We're energy beings, right? We're about connection. We have souls. We have spirits. And sometimes to almost talk about sex in just sort of penis and vagina terms is a little bit reductive."
"I'd say probably 90% of my clients tear up or cry during a Yoni massage, especially when we get to around the cervix. There are a lot of emotions and stuck energy and trauma that's stored in the pelvis and around the cervix. And, it brings up a lot of memories for them that, for example, we didn't treat our bodies with respect before. Before we didn't even know what actually felt good for us because we were just rushing to the end goal. "
"There's zero pressure and expectation on the outcome of this massage. And it's not to orgasm. So, because of these elements of a Yoni massage, it gives them the liberty to actually feel. And when you slow down, that's when you feel, that's when things come up. That's when memories and sensations start to come up again."
"A lot of people just do not talk or do not communicate what they want, in many aspects of life, much less in the sexual needs that they have. I'll ask partners, like, what do you like? What gets you off? What do you want? And they're like, 'I don't know'."
"So I think what this stems from is this lack of exploration with the self and so doing self Yoni massage, which is obviously going to be different, but exploring yourself with a mirror and taking the time without a toy. I know toys are great, but take that time to slow down and just use your hands. Maybe with a wand if you want to get to the cervix. But, just use your hands and massage. I've discovered that I can ejaculate like seven times in a row with just using my fingers slowly, not even the aggressive type that you see in pornography."
"When we talk about Yoni, a lot of people might refer to 'Oh, so the vagina,' but the vagina is only the internal canal. And a lot of the good stuff happens on the outside, which is the vulva. So even just addressing the parts of our genitals in a correct way, by saying Yoni, because it encompasses everything, including the womb, is really honoring our feminine essence. And it's the same with Lingam."
OTHER GREAT REFERENCES YOU’LL LOVE
Ohmibod - Our sponsor for this episode. Ohmibod is a leader in sexual wellness and award-winning sex tech. Use code BETTERINBED for 15% off at check-out until the end of Jan 2023.
Adam & Eve - Our sponsor for this episode. The oldest and largest adult retailer in the United States with a reputation for integrity. 50% off & free shipping with code BETTERINBED.
"Tedx: The Sex Organs No One Talks About" - Episode guest Viv Kan talks about how mindful intimacy could be a game changer for an empowered life.
The Guide To Tantric Yoni Massage - this guide provides benefits, techniques and instructions for how to perform a yoni massage.
I Tried A Yoni Massage To Heal Myself From Decades Of Sexual Shame, And It Was Transformative In Ways I Never Expected - a personal story of the transformative benefits of yoni massage
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
What do you think about the practice of yoni massage?